I do have some measure of Portuguese Marrano Sephardic Jewish ancestry. I must confess that I used to be inordinately proud of this. It became something I was obsessed with. I must confess that it even used to mean so much to me that it lead to nationalist and essentialist views about this identity.
I believed in preserving and defending this ethnic identity and defending and propagating its rights as an ethnicity and even as a nation. I no longer believe this.
I used to think that this Sephardic Jewish ancestry was of some kind of essential importance to me.
I thought it was my sole identity. It was a label that I accepted and was important, vital and essential to me. I declared to myself that I would never renounce my Sephardic Jewish identity.
I was very interested in the history of the marranos - who are also referred to in Hebrew as anusim.
I was even something of a Jewish supremacist, but a reading of Szasz writing about Freud cured me of this nonsensical tendency.
This tendency towards Jewish nationalism in my past was perhaps understandable due to the fact that the identity was very much concerned with struggling against its denial and suppression. But this was no reason to believe that assertion of the identity was important. I suppose I was always aware of this but regretfully I did not always fully apply this realization to my thinking.
I am now a humanist and nothing more and do not accept or aspire to the label "Jewish" or "Sephardic".
I do value the intellectual traditions exemplified by the Sephardic and Jewish stories and the individuals that comprise it. But I no longer adhere to it as an identity in any way.
I like to feel that I have learnt from this mistake.
What caused the change was that I became convinced of the bad results and implications of any kind of nationalism - which included a tendency towards racism - and of the unreality of a belief in any kind of nationalism. But most importantly I believed in humanity and human unity to such an extent that it overrode this allegiance to any particular identity.
I realized that this identity did not correspond to anything in reality. And that the beliefs of the religion of Judaism were as irrational and mistaken as those of any religion and that my links to that religion did not mean that it was any more true than any religion. I now believe that all religion is basically bullshit. Judaism - rarely among religions - combines adherence to a people to adherence to religious beliefs - it makes a religion out of a nation. This is perhaps combining two evils.
I realized that there is no reason, no need and no obligation to adhere to any kind of particular culture or identity and this was limiting my human freedom. To parafrase Kenan Malik, humans are cultural but they do not have to live in any particular culture.
I see the struggle against anti-Semitism as a struggle for individual human rights, not necessarily as a struggle for the right to be Jewish in any way.
The story of the marranos I think eventually teaches that identity and alllegiance are things that are not really relevant and humanity and freedom are the inevitable conclusions.
In my opinion, some of the most laudable figures in Sephardic history include:
Spinoza - famous rationalist philosopher. One of the first to historically analyze religious scripture and express pantheist and determinist views. Perhaps an imitator of Descartes to some extent.
Questioned religious beliefs.
Columbus - famous explorer. Probably a Sephardic marrano.
Montaigne - famous humanist writer, inventor of the essay.
Uriel Da Costa - important religious thinker who explored the marrano identity and its problems.
Francisco Sanches - important sceptical philosopher.
Emma Lazarus - USAmerican poetess.
Ironically, most of these figures were HUMANISTS and not really nationalists of any kind.
Many such figures also struggled to assert humanity before identity, and sort to question religions including Judaism.
I did always realize this.
I identify with this quote of Einstein - who was not a religious Jew:
“The pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, an almost fanatical love of justice and the desire for personal independence -- these are the features of the Jewish tradition which make me thank my stars that I belong to it.”
Albert Einstein.