"I Pissed On My Cambridge"

"I Pissed On my Cambridge"


I pissed on my Cambridge
Cold college library
Built in the fifteenth century
I hadn't wanted to
Someone told me to

I pissed on my Cambridge
College library somewhere
Near the flowers
There was drink to drink
So I drank it

I pissed on my Cambridge
Because I couldn't get anything
There to mean anything to me
The dullard Sloanes and
The dullard Chavs

I pissed on my Cambridge
And its Arctic Fens
Trinity Hall to be precise
I wouldn't have stayed for idol Weisz
Or Jane Iceberg lettuce

I pissed on my Cambridge
Trinity Hall where the people
Seemed small
The prettiest corner
With no one waiting there

I pissed on my Cambridge
You could have blown it away
Like Baghdad the year before
And I wouldn't have noticed
The difference.

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(A poem by a poet who doesn't believe in poetry).